Agent Green here. Welcome to our world. We monitor for subversive activity such as yours every day. My co-workers Agent Paul Allen and Agent Bill Gates gained a monopoly on personal computer operating systems, and our NSA key is in Windows to this very day -- everything encrypted or decrypted by Windows, we can read plain as day. Me and my pal Paul Allen and my friends who run Radsoft and PC-Help(which are actually just fronts for the NSA, those pictures all all fake, you know) are also deep into the UN/New World Order/Vatican conspiracy to impose One World rule upon the United States. We thought we had things licked when we got AOL up and going, but then that Internet thing happened, and it took close to five years for us to buy up enough of the Internet so that we could seriously consider taking over the government again.

But eventually we succeeded. It took work, we had to send our secret mind control devices to each and every household at least once a week (they work by contact, the "plastic" on the outsides of these things actually exude mind control drugs, and the succeptible will walk to their computer like a zombie and say "I will log on to AOL... I will log on to AOL..."), and our vast array of Low Earth Orbit satellites began beaming mind control rays into each and every American's head (with the exception of those who believed that dastardly Zapatopi Products Intradimensional and constructed an AFDB, but ve haf odder methods uv dealing vit dem, heheheh). Then we bought one of our own into office in the fall of 2001, when we stole enough ballot boxes in Florida and substituted with our own to turn a vote that'd been for Gore at the exit polls, into one that was for Bush when the votes were actually counted. (Well, actually, we couldn't get enough ballot boxes substituted in time so we had to rig some of the voting machines to not count right, but hey, every secret conspiracy has its internal problems, right?).

Today, we in the UN/New World Order/Vatican/Paul Allen/Internet.com/ Radsoft/Motorola/Lycos/Department of Defense secret conspiracy to impose One World Rule in the name of the UN/NWO/Amish secret government are most concerned about those pesky privacy software vendors, especially those guys called "Robin Hood Software" in Nottingham, England. That's why we have mobilized our vast forces to neutralizing them. Our satellites beam mind control beams down upon Nottingham 24 hours a day, our secret agents sneak into their restrooms and put down the toilet seats and turn the toilet paper rolls around so that they come out against the wall, our crack team of commandos is posted around the clock outside their walled compound in Nottingham, waiting for one of them to come outside to get the paper so that we can fire darts containing mind-control drugs at them. So far it seems to be working. They think they're being funny with their little DisInformation page. Unknown to them, we are controlling their every move. Their company shall be destroyed from within as our psychotropic drugs break their feeble hold upon sanity. Bwah hahahaha! It is already working, their feeble attempts to evade our mind control rays (see the Robin Hood Software employee at the right) are failing! They shall be destroyed! Bwahahahahah!

The End (for now, bwah hahahahaha!)

About Eric Lee Green

Note: We disclaim any association between the UN/NWO/Amish secret conspiracy To Impose One-World Government and the Bovine Illuminati.

[Notice: This has been a satire. This is only a satire. In the event of actual content, you wouldn't have been warned beforehand :-)].